Mi Lykey Bluu~

Who knew that the truth could hurt so good?

I wonder how much I have grown in seven years?
Am I right on schedule or behind?
This was much more than a crush much more than I brush of energy.
I can't believe the rhythm of my heart is reaching these volumes. Aching, breaking, forming a stronger muscle tissue. Pulsating in my ear drums, swarming around my eyes, and absorbing right back into my skin.
-
-
-
I'm light, half way colored in, transparent to those who wish to push past
And still I resist to float away, Up and over I hold on to these newly formed scars and with great melancholy kiss them and show them love.
I hurt, I bleed, but I am happy.
The consequence of my big mouth.
...Maybe in another life
I could know your pain and I wouldn't cry
cause I couldn't turn away
We could hum a tune -like this sun and moon, sometimes we say goodbye in order to say hello.

I am not perfect, and that's o.k. My standards, opinions and priorities are on a constant wind mill of energy exchange. I see know, that I have yet to find another form of expression, with another. I am very unskilled in evergreen relationships.
I need to take a few step backs but never grow hesitant to be a helping hand.

My thoughts are jumbled. You can't do it by yourself.

Not too many people get to see that got to practice legit tai chi with there teacher. I, on the other hand was given the chance to do so less than an hour ago.

"Happiness is always a coincidence. "

Not only was a standing face to face with a very respectable man, learning how to breathe again. I was treated to a free massage and yummy vegan food. It is reasons like these that make me appreciate CCBC. I'm not going to lie, i felt like a water bender (nerd point +1) I am calm. I am beautiful and all is well.
"Our responsibility is to take responsibility for our own growth."
I feel that I've made progress as far as communicating with my parents. My way. In many ways I feel a bit pressured and tense. I feel like I'm doing it wrong. But when I let go of these thoughts....
blah, blah, blah

I really really enjoy Regina Spektors music.
------


5/15/2010. Spiritual Food.
A new day. I feel ... awake?
I have no control over this matter.
So my talk over the phone just went a little something like this;

Her: This is going to hurt
Me:*closes eyes shut*
Her: You Shay, are no better than Kage. Same shit different day. What happened to you, you did to someone else. & now you can't stop him from hating you and wanting to get over your ass.
Someday you might have to get hurt a little bit more.
Let time run it's course....
(Censored)Boom, Pow, Bang!

Lystra, Mon Cheri Amor... thanks for this song, I broke it down and felt a jolt.

People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along
Let's move it along

And airports
See it all the time
Where someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last,
To love her

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first
To love me

You can find me, if you ever want again
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around,
I'll be around
And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it (repeat then fade)

I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me [repeat 1x]