A cocktail of chemicals

That's all that love is really, when you break it down.
A bunch of chemicals that your brain decides to dump into your system. There are scientifically/ technically three stages of this love mumbo - jumo. Lust, Attraction & Attachment. I'm still very young in this knowledge so I won't pretend I get it all, just a few of the names of these bastards. One of which can be found in chocolate. I know right? The betrayal.
Just kidding -I've known that part for a while, I didn't take Human Sexuality for no reason. Odd enough, as much as we did cover in that class - not once did the Mirons discuss the science of it. Maybe because it affects everyone differently?
Does it have holes in it?
Or does knowing that were are creatures designed for breeding take away some of the magic?

(RAH)² (AH)³ + [ROMA (1+MA)] + (GA)² + (OOH)(LA)² = Bad Romance.

I had to do it.

So today, listening to Marcus rant [emotional *** Scorpios] on about how out of hand his girlfriend was becoming; I'd manage to plaster a sincere look of interest and assurance on his part, meanwhile I found myself in heavy thought about the subject of love, expectations, and over all attractions another human can play on you. I'm not going to lie, it scared me a little a lot. I thought of the faces that made me smile, the faces that brought pain, the lust I still hold on to for some and the many unrequited attachments I still keep.

I wonder.

I wonder what made me attractive, and why I haven't slept with more than one boy in my life thus far. I wondered why it was so hard for me to get close to some and too close to others.
I have no regrets; only curiosity.
A bad case of the "What if's"
I wanted to take every conversation I had today and twist it, to just challenge the listener to deal with yet another side of me. It's not like I'm insane.
Hmmm..... We'll I'll let these thoughts simmer for now. I know it's not fair to you, but if you really did love me, you'd get over yourself.
'cuz that's what your suppose to do right? After you have yourself in check, after you've worked hard to satisfy your inner self, you must give it away. It's risky, it's *scary* but that's the only way to know if what you have inside of you is worth being inside of someone else - vise versa.
I wonder if I'm making any sense?
+
+
+
Any who.. I want to invite my dad to come paint with me, sometime this week; seeing as how I'm not going back to CCBC.
Too much free time to a person who doesn't need it if you ask me. Already I'm scribbling down a list of things to do, most of which involve my bed room. Maybe if my entire bed was facing the other way I'd be able to sleep better?
Idk I'm just restless. I fee like talking, sharing parts of me that I felt I couldn't 'cause I had no control. I still don't but it doesn't bother me. Oh right, that's selfish right? I'll chill... don't worry. I'll be drawing back into my shell sooner than you think. I didn't think it would hurt you today.
I didn't think.

Waaa~ay off topic.

Back to paint. I want to paint a bare tree in those boxes. step 1 & I'm sticking with it.

It's late, I have scho(nowhere)ol to attend in the morning.
Oh yeah.....
RE:.......Goodnight. :(