Sunday, August 14, 2011

Something exciting is gonna happen

I'm waking up nauseated for the first time in a long time. I feel sticky, but not literally. Like my lungs have grown larger than my heart and are reaching its way to my throat. I don't like this feeling at all but I do know it will not last long. I won't let it, I'm far too busy to entertain this emotion.
Last night I was so anxious to get to that party; but upon arrival I was slightly disappointed by the turn out. This time I do not feel it was worth the entry price. It wasn't nearly as live as it had previously been. The music was fun and not being able to determine if I was wet from sweat or pool water took a lot of tension off me. Still, in the back of my head I reminded myself why I don't like raves, parties in general. Sometimes things happen that you wish you had not seen or where aware of. Personally I was fine pretending like ... never mind.
After the party Sir called me and then came over to talk. It was so nice, I really missed watching and listening to him. He makes me smile with his performances all the time and to actually be requested that night was pretty much what I needed before sleep.
This morning I caught up with Lys and that too was a great feeling.
I need to keep the promise to myself to stay busy, hustle even when no one is watching. I can't afford to daydream about what ifs and why nots.

I'll be picking up a book tonight and getting lost in it. Dance central will come later but it will come. I am starting to struggle with my weight again. I won't panic just do and eat the right things.

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