A sound Soul dwells withing a sound Mind & a sound Body

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye.

Today was rather productive, I took care of myself and my dog -who is rather sick right now.
I left my phone upstairs and stayed off of social networks. I listened as the rain came and went. I've been sitting in this chilled basement, drawing. Working hard on my characters and partially watching anime re runs. I am starting to feel empty again. I don't need another transformation - not like this. I don't want to run away, run back or around.
Ahead of myself, ahead of time.
Two nights ago I heard a lot, but only took in pieces. I turned to people that I didn't truly feel a closeness too and took in our time together more than the advice. I went from angry and hurt to defeated and renewed. What Justin shared with me hit a soft spot. An old spot that I feel those un capable of dealing with an intertwining of personalities seem to be a perfect get away. I wanted to consider the lack of feeling, if only for a while. At the same time I fight my dreams and there meanings.
Why do I want things that I know can hurt me?
I want to talk to people again who I know I've let down.
When did I stop focusing on things other than myself?
I can do it alone. I can stand alone, save up on my own, laugh on my own, create on my own, study on my own, cry on my own. I can -but I should do everything I know I can handle. It's all about self control right?.
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I just think I need to hear someones voice right now.