What is beautiful?

This is like the calmest my blog layout has ever looked. I'm kinda digging it too :)
Man, I swear Pokemon Black came out at the perfect time, between that and watching Black Butler I find myself capable of sitting in my room for hours with interest. I always tend to fall in and out of reality at the right times. I am purposefully choosing to distance myself from people; honestly, it hurts too much to do other wise. shikata ja nai...

I am a very awkward creature. Some days I can approach a stranger without hesitation and other days I squirm under the gaze under anyone that looks my way. I get embarrassed easily, I freeze up and wish that to exit the vicinity. /Sigh/ Insecurity is a bitch.
I am capable of doing better, I just have to train myself and train myself and train myself to change the voices in my head.
I love myself. I love my enlightenment's. I love that I am fragile and still so strong. I love my thick hair, my smile, my hips and my red, itchy, irritated skin!

As for now, I just need to keep up my good work in school. I enjoy the way all my classes are beginning to blend into one another, it really helps me make since of it all. Composing my philosophy statement of education is also very interesting. I am creating an affirmation of how my classroom will be managed and how my students will learn and grow together with me.

There's something else I would like to express but it's on the tip of my tongue now and I can't seem to even form pieces of the whole. So tonight I will ask myself questions and pray on it. I still haven't given up on that habit. It's funny though because I choose to try again in order to rid my mind of all the negativity I carried around from Ron. I still pray for him. I hope his lifestyle takes him down a path that is beautiful and free and reflects the soul inside of him.
But it's not all about him anymore. I have to constantly forgive myself and others. No one wants to hurt or feel pain, but it happens to everyone and on certain degrees. Suffering is optional.

There is a bit of beauty in believing in what you can not see.