Blast off. It's party time & wtf are you?

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”

So here's a quote I found. It wasn't the best and most touching of the bunch -but I was tired of going to the next page. Anyway, tonight I experienced fortune telling, coincidences, future sight and all the other sayings for foreshadowing come to life. Inevitably. (In my very last post I'd written- just two days ago I mentioned something about a dream I had; the sound of an explosion. I also said how I looked up what could be the meaning of that (something is about to be exposed or come into consciousness) and well I'll be - something had been exposed tonight.
My conscious was definitely ripped into and my heart.... I haven't felt that bad since sometime in 2008. No lie. I can't really explain it, - although it felt like an old friend. I wanted to reach and pull out my heart that literally felt like it was pumping poison through my system. I had forgotten how to breathe for quick moments. The shakes came and went as well as feeling light headed because I laughed most of it off. Still the company I had had no choice but to go in for the night. Whats worse, nothing I was told was proven to be legit. It is my mind that has me doing flips and auto creating a slide show of cut and paste audio sound, mental pictures and clues.
I can't believe I let it get to me so much. What happened to my priorities?

I want to feel numb. karma sucks

Maybe it happen the way It did because I had so much else stored within me.
So much anger and confusion that tonight was just the straw that broke the numels back.
The rest of the night was a poor attempt to fill whole again. My words didn't travel far.
I hurt so much right now - I will not sleep well tonight.
I confuse myself, I'm afraid and lonely and I just cant wait for this to end.