Summer Done Did List 2010

1. New Jersey
2. Delaware/ Visit Verna
3. Pennsylvania
   
4. Philadelphia/ Imogean Heap Concert
5. Ultimate Pillow fight
6. [Started] a watercolor painting
7. Star gazed
8. Washington DC + Lolita
9. Swim
10. Gay Pride 2010
11. Toy Story 3 (wasnt on the original list but hey..)
12. library
13. Apply 2 other places
    

Summer to do list 2010 (TBE.)

1. Tie-Dye a t-shirt

2. Stay in shape

3. Imogean Heap Concert

4. Paramore Concert

5. Go to the beach

6. Make a smoothie

7. PCAD Application

8. Learn how to define & use 5 new words from the dictionary

9. Start locking

10. $Creeper boots

11. $ Kigurumi

12. Wig/ falls

13. Visit holocaust museum

14. Tie dye a t-shirt

15. Artscape

16. New Love

17. Otakon

18. Spend the day at the library

19. Visit Verna

20. Draw a self portrait

21. Learn a song on the guitar

22. Attempt a water color painting

23. Apply to 3 different locations

24. Go hiking

25. Make popcorn the old fashion way

26. Make a list of traits I would want in the perfect boy friend

27. Try not to complain for a whole day

28. Design Pichu Ears

29. Buy some crayons and a coloring book

30. Read a book based on a movie

31. Make dinner for the fam

If ignorance in bliss, why aren't there more happy people?

Behold! I am the [King] of wishful thinking!
Let's deny the tears in my eyes.
Let's smile until the sun rise! (Sunbeam)

Yesterday was... interesting. My LSD trip didn't go as simple as I had envisioned but It couldve been worse? I feel as though I've gotten a little better on the guitar.(music note) The girl from yesterday, (I can't remember her name for the life of me), taught me a few tricks and the stoner dude (who's name sounded like a pokemon) taught me E minor - sounds good to me :)

This Thursday Kelitah and I are going to PA to see Imogen.
I'm ecstatic. I'll be away from this & engrossed in music.

PS. (music note)I love instrumental Music so much now!!

So like, it's been a month(s)(?) How am I holding up? Well I'm training myself to stay positive that's for sure. Some moments in the day it becomes real easy, others not so much. I still want to help people. Ben, for instance doesn't love himself. So I go: Ben, how can you give something you don't have?
I liked myself alot at that moment.

~~~

"Friendship is an intimate relationship" - L.K.
So, so true. I really adore this girl at times.
The word (friend) is so over used these days, it's annoying.
I have friends, and I have acquaintances, I want to know a lot about my friends, I want to connect my heart strings to theirs and pull strength from of energy exchanges.
It's hard to forgive, and forget.
They go hand in hand.
This is annoying,
I don't want to. Not one bit.
(Moonbeam)
I'm getting annoyed easily. -___-
Anyway... I really loved Rafaels new found glory, we have very interesting conversations when we can. He is a good friend. :)

"It's what you focus on that grows"

Well, I've finally finalized my finals.
Time to start constructing a summer list of things to do prototype.
Work >Fun? Me> You? Outdoors>Indoors? Natural> Exaggerated?Art=Music.

Adios.

Jihaku. Foo Fighters-Best of You

Mi Lykey Bluu~

Who knew that the truth could hurt so good?

I wonder how much I have grown in seven years?
Am I right on schedule or behind?
This was much more than a crush much more than I brush of energy.
I can't believe the rhythm of my heart is reaching these volumes. Aching, breaking, forming a stronger muscle tissue. Pulsating in my ear drums, swarming around my eyes, and absorbing right back into my skin.
-
-
-
I'm light, half way colored in, transparent to those who wish to push past
And still I resist to float away, Up and over I hold on to these newly formed scars and with great melancholy kiss them and show them love.
I hurt, I bleed, but I am happy.
The consequence of my big mouth.
...Maybe in another life
I could know your pain and I wouldn't cry
cause I couldn't turn away
We could hum a tune -like this sun and moon, sometimes we say goodbye in order to say hello.

I am not perfect, and that's o.k. My standards, opinions and priorities are on a constant wind mill of energy exchange. I see know, that I have yet to find another form of expression, with another. I am very unskilled in evergreen relationships.
I need to take a few step backs but never grow hesitant to be a helping hand.

My thoughts are jumbled. You can't do it by yourself.

Not too many people get to see that got to practice legit tai chi with there teacher. I, on the other hand was given the chance to do so less than an hour ago.

"Happiness is always a coincidence. "

Not only was a standing face to face with a very respectable man, learning how to breathe again. I was treated to a free massage and yummy vegan food. It is reasons like these that make me appreciate CCBC. I'm not going to lie, i felt like a water bender (nerd point +1) I am calm. I am beautiful and all is well.
"Our responsibility is to take responsibility for our own growth."
I feel that I've made progress as far as communicating with my parents. My way. In many ways I feel a bit pressured and tense. I feel like I'm doing it wrong. But when I let go of these thoughts....
blah, blah, blah

I really really enjoy Regina Spektors music.
------


5/15/2010. Spiritual Food.
A new day. I feel ... awake?
I have no control over this matter.
So my talk over the phone just went a little something like this;

Her: This is going to hurt
Me:*closes eyes shut*
Her: You Shay, are no better than Kage. Same shit different day. What happened to you, you did to someone else. & now you can't stop him from hating you and wanting to get over your ass.
Someday you might have to get hurt a little bit more.
Let time run it's course....
(Censored)Boom, Pow, Bang!

Lystra, Mon Cheri Amor... thanks for this song, I broke it down and felt a jolt.

People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along
Let's move it along

And airports
See it all the time
Where someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last,
To love her

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first
To love me

You can find me, if you ever want again
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around,
I'll be around
And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it (repeat then fade)

I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me [repeat 1x]