Thee Match Maker

So it's been raining for two days straight. It's cold out and I really hate that I'm driving so much. Tonight's rant isn't as happy as the previous ones. So.. blame the rain.

People are not in control of how I feel about myself. But they do however provoke the way I choose to carry myself.

I must have the best of friends, they can always seem to find love within this system of mine. Seriously. I'm happy for their fortune but at the same time bitter by the fact that it doesn't work that easily for me. The last dude I was introduced to by a peer ended up breaking my heart. Ha. I pretty much gave him permission to..
I'm juggling right now.
It's fun but my arms are getting tired. My heart, heavy. My mind is playing tricks on me right now. I keep replaying things only a person in pursuit would dare to think of. I don't want to go down that path no longer because it's scary but because it's draining. I can feel it already. The disappointment. The longing. The guilt.

++ What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am.
I never meant to be so cold.

So what shall I do next?
I was never good at waiting for others to move.
I'll either move too fast and ruin it all or move too slow slow and get left behind. Who's really foolish enough to walk beside me?
//
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.... was scary. I liked being in a completely sold out movie theater (Arundle Mills) Dean Bean is love! Haha.

Rule #32 : Enjoy the little things. Good Night

Daijoubu desu...

Sorry for the delay.
For some reason
I was lock out of my own blogger dashboard.
all is well. :)So its is now officially Autumn/ Fall. October really is a beautiful month.
Leaves are so pretty!
The weather is... nice for the most part.
Today was by far the coldest since Spring left but pretty none the less.
I've been paying more attention to those things. ya kno, big white clouds, leaves, squirrels and chipmunks ... |nature|.
And with this change also comes a more mental and emotional one from with in.
Love, joy and inspiration are all pumping through my veins; keeping me warm, making me smile....

\\:UPDATES

• I just completed another adorably cute anime series, Lovely Complex. 24 eps. So of course I'm going to be a "dick rider" for a brief moment. Risa & Otani ftw!
• I'm drawing again. Slowly but surely gaining back what was rightfully mine!
• Due to the extrmely shitty hours I get at AMC... I've turned into a movie junkie. Zombieland, Pandorum, Toy Story 1-2, Capitalism: A love story, I can do bad all by my self, All about Steve.... Are some that I have recently seen and really enjoyed.
  If I'm lucky..er. daring enough, Ron and I will probally go see the shit your pants movie: Paranormal activity this weekend.
• I hate driving but winter is a approaching and I'd be stupid to choose now to start riding the bus. Bummer.
• Halloween is coming up soon. I plan on being my main mans Freddy kruger. I have the outfit already.. sortve. I just need to get the epic claw from party city.
• I've been looking for a new job *gasp* Toys R Us. Pets Mart. Game Stop.. The list will grow until I actually get the shit. I gave up my interview at a Halloween store and ironicly Nicco the hobo got it. [Don't get me wrong I love hobos. Just not this one. not even a little. :)]

さむい!!

Geez it's cold .
I need to start practicing my Japanese more often.
It's fun.
Watchin anime doesn't really help me cause they in no way speak "proper".
I won't give up. I won't.
Nihongo Kurasu daisuki. suki suki! ♥ <333>