Relationships

suck when your young

What is Beautiful to me....

(This list is in no particular order, and will be updated when I care)

• Laughter
  Lovers
  Crying
  Spattered paints
  a kiss on the lips
  Music on a sad day
  chubby cheeks
  Fireworks
  Cheese cake with fruit on top
  Straight teeth
  Courage
  English Accents
  Asian people
  Neon lights
  summer rain
  Kimono Dress designs
  glowstixx in motion
  that rare rainbow ring around the moon
  girls/ guys in eyeliner
  Earth, from outer space
  snow fall
  bold tattoos
  the beach
  Strawberry fields forever

The Masochistic Crustaceans (to be written soon)

Sha, la, la, la, la, oh, my, my.....


This week is.
draining
frustrating
intimidating
just making me upset.

The scent that you bring forth fills my mind.
This is suppose to be the year I become most motivated to transform.
And I must admit I am on my way. Indirectly but I'm getting there.
My vice grip on the past such a tough thing to let go.
[ I'm afraid that I'll miss you to much.]
That is why I try and try to make this work but when I have to stop and think about why...
I can't seem to find a reason.
The path that I'm choosing isn't clear to me at all but
I know I can't stand stationary for much longer.
Tie my security blanket around my neck and don't look back.
I'm ready to experience this new love.

desolate

“It's getting to the point where I am no fun anymore, I am sorry.
Sometimes it hurts so badly I must cry out loud, ' I am lonely.'
I am yours, you are mine,
you are what you are, you make it hard.”


Just like an Ostrich I wish I could stick my head in the sand, oblivious to the fact that my problems will still be there when I resurface. I want to take care of some one! I want to care more than anyone. I don't want the weight of the world I just want to be apart of it. Of yours. Let me know, that I could possible be that one and I'll set my soul ablaze.
My heart is empty; cracking under all this pressure.
My eyes are hungry; yet foolishly blind.
I want to do what right for me, but I'm lost.

EPiC FAil

Lol epic fail today was, Lol well not a total 100% but close.

Ok but seriously.
I'm not ok.
and at the same time I'm better than ok.

"I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all". - Three Days Grace

Thats not necessarily true in my case.


Part of me is sitting in a dark room. My hands are covering my face, my legs are pulled up to my chest. The small room has no windows or mirrors but there is a door. Infront of me is a classic televison, it is unplugged but still the Someone on the other side has been knocking and crying out my name. I am ignoring this voice; drowning out the pleas with the static. I just want to sleep...

Horse Poop

"I'm never going to stop giving all of my love, cause thats just the way i am. I love love! giving, making, receiving the invention to ones soul is what I innately live for ... But I guess the pain I experience after wards is just apart of the package. "

-Shayla

Fraud

Just admit it already
The red on your hands stains
Every inch of my body and I
I enjoyed every second of it.
You fell in love, for that
Split moment you gave yourself
To me, to me and everything I
Stand for. Forgetting yourself
Without thinking of the pain that follows.
Actions, acted upon become my reality.
A tango of jealousy and pleasure
That you shut up for 9 whole days
And the colors I once saw distort and fade,
Like a shrieking firework on a summer night
Crackle then pop, and is lost forever.
Just stop this game and confess.
Walk away shameless.

...