Penis Envy

Today I learned about the value of wisdom, and I have a newly found respect towards old people. I'll try not to see them as creepy, baby like creatures, but instead a large sack of knowledge wrapped in skin. :)

In other news, I just got in from taking a very nice walk around my neighborhood. Just me and Treasure.
Prior to that me and my mom went to see TP "Why did I get married too?" It wasn't memorable at all, and I personally think Janet Jackson carried the team on her shoulders....

Anyway, as I walked under the night's sky I really took the time to enjoy the little things; white and pink petals dancing to the ground, a white pitbull literally hanging out of an open window, growling, and a random toad who at first glance I thought was a rock. All of which helped me get my mind off of what I think is really getting under my skin.
I walked to Usagi's house too, to talk and to really tell her what was on my mind. I wanted to tell her that I hate that we doesn't spend anytime with me anymore, I wanted to point out that she choose to stop hanging out with me because she didn't want to be seen as a moocher,... and now she talks lightly about how much money she has and fun she's been having driving around with her new pals. I wanted to really throw my hurt on to her ...but I couldn't.
She seemed so happy and oblivious.
It didn't feel right, sitting and talking with her tonight. Planning a picnic, inviting me to an upcoming party and laughing I felt so, so small in her world. I felt small in this world it's self. "Why is it that when one person feels lonely they instantly blame an outside source?"
Why is it that I feel so disconnected and out of tune with everyone, even the ones whom I love?

"If you walk out on me... I'm walking after you.."

.....Earlier today felt a lot better. I woke up and out of no where wrapped my hair in a huge yellow scarf things my mom got me from Hawaii. I've had it for forever and never wore it, I loved the vibe I felt I was emitting all day long. I had to deliver my first speech in class today; it was on color and I don't think I stank too bad.

Oh! And before I forget, the night before that, I had an amazing night with Jamal, Carlos and Justin P! Itwas so random, they all came to my job for the Titan movie, afterwards I hopped in Jamals jeep and we took off. I was really cool, then from out of no where Dylan [remember that name folks?!@$] decided he wanted to join but I left before he got there. I passed up one hell of a 'high' experience that's for sure.

I need to make another to do list. Good Night. :)