On the road again {I think I'm back.}

Hey, I think I'm back.
May 05, 2009. I Received my license.
Ever since then I've been feeling a very large scene of pride. I knew I could do it && I did.
It rained shortly after.

My last week of school went by super fast.
I counted down, but in reality I was counting down the days I would see him again. :(
Lol.
------------->>> Fast forwarding a bit, I've made new acquaintances. Justin [Jojo], Alex and Tanique.
<-- The Milford crew.
They are pretty cool. Something stands out in each of them. Both ,we'll actual all three of them have some what of an unnatural crush on me.
Wich is unfortunate because I'm not ready to open my heart up to anyone.
no time soon [fuck love]

Haha, so intense shay.

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dude.....
I AM DONE WITH WESTERN TECH !!!!!!!
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Anyway.
So my eyes are open, I realize that I am, a very selfish person.
[1: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.]

The change I want the most, starts inside of me & will end with me. I want freedom, I want wisdom, I want beauty I want to be the best me I can. I'm not ready for love. No one can understand why I do the things I do. And so, I'll leave it to myself to pick up and re mold all my pieces. I like a lot of people, but I can't trust them..

-------->>big fake smiles, stupid lies<< -------- The only reason I write like this is because I've been hurt. I had a huge gashing cut in my stomach and didn't know who else to run to. No one is ever there to save me, and I won't play the pity role. [[Lys, you are my angel. No matter what happens ,I just don't want you to be sad. I know you love me. I'm just a screw ball at times.]]
I want to get better so I write, re read and plan for the future. ____________________________

The last two days of school where nice. I didn't cry and a lot of unplanned things happened. I smiled from my heart && I know I really should stay away from you. Lol but I've been waiting for someone like you for soooooooo long.
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I'm on the phone with Jamal right now.[ he's a cancer] It's pretty peaceful. I'm not at peace though. Like a surgeon, I'm picking apart myself. Trying to understand... what it really takes to make independent. mind -body- soul....

Do you think your better off alone ? [fuck love]