Friday, January 29, 2010

Drifting, Drifting

I'm falling asleep.
My night time playlist is doing it's job as usual. I'm mad, sad, grateful, loved, full, struggling, torn, lost, determined, so ready to yell and skeptical right now.. all at once & all I can do right now is wish for sleep. As I hold my cell phone near... longing. I'm also thinking about chucking it across my room into my mirror. Maybe then will I react the way I want to. Maybe then I'll scramble through the broken glass and regret having bled.
Kiss my fore head and kick my shin. Is this really worth fighting for?
I want to love and I want die.
No one ever really means that, just a state of mind. A dramatic, attention seeking and weak state of mind.
Sleep now and ask that I don't have to work in 9 hours from now. I should have made that phone call.

It'll be O.K little lady.
I may not wish to see it turning out for the better but I left things up to the universe once again. please open my mind and spirit, guide me.
I'm yours.

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