Happy Almost Turkey Day

So I'm here sitting in Panera blogging like a real college student. 'Except for I'm wearing my world renowned cat hat and look at me goggles. Shavoooooon works here now shes still odd as ever muhahaha. Ron is blah blah blahing right now about not wanted to eat his Doritos right now and threatening to 'T' me right now.
Anyway. So school is almost over and I survived it all. Math and English switched places in my priority role. Finals are going to be a b*tch.

• I brought this chick, I mean dress on impulse the other day. It was free shipping; only $40.00. I can't what to wear it.... although it is defiantly a summer/ spring dress.

I saw Precious with my mommy the other day, now I'm reading the book. The book is so much better. I real cataclysm.

I'm really side tracked right now. brb

The Funny thing about Cake

Games are meant to be played and almost always result in a loser and a winner. I’m usually the loser.

I came to a confusing realization last night; I’ve grown to like the person I said I wouldn’t and would rather watch it fail, because I knew it would. Jealousy is an ugly suicidal emotion. In some ways I think I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill but in others I think I can make this assumption due to the fact that I know me. I know that I can’t be trusted and that I trust others far too easily. All I ask for is love (happiness) and peace; but taking a closer look at that request, it’s probably far too broad for anyone to feel comfortable in themselves or actions. “Just what makes you happy Shayla? What gives you peace?”

My dreams are my clarity. I don’ think I can explain it any better. Your lips and mine.

--Sometimes I give into sadness sometimes I don't.

Usagi ( ウサギ) is coming home in two days. How exciting; for how long I wonder? Regardless we will be kicking it old school -You down with OPP -day in and day out. With that good news aside, I'd like to believe that my Japanese has drastically improved. Not only can I read and right in Hiragana & Katana; I'm started to hear it and understand it (ちょと) a little bit in the Anime I watch. 一期ましまっる　がすきです! (I love strawberry marshmallow!)











The way I see it, as of right now I don't know what I want from any stupid boys. && what I do want is out of my reach not because it truly is but because I have yet to speak it into existence. Thus the cycle continues, nothing from nothing will always lead you with nothing. Like Sir said last night, I need to take risks. Throw it out there and let the Universe decided what happens next. Until next time　みない、 じゃね。。。

Coming to Blogger Soon:
Shayla [Next] Blog!
Starring: Shayla
Namedrops?..Not likely
Rated VP [Vegetarian Panda]

R&R

• Currently Listening to Song for a friend -Jason Mraz.

I totally wanted to talk about me tonight. Ya, know what's going in [shay] LaLa Land. But. I'm only as selfish as my heart will let me be, and right now a very close friend of mine seems to be having a chronic 'moment' that is going on. A thunderstorm of torn and heartfelt emotions. Soooo this is my attempt to reach out and I guess, be heard?
Ahh~h I'm a little nervous because the chance of this opening up, response thingie I'm about to do is at risk of being ignored... && It wouldn't be the first time..



1. Intro: Beautiful.
I think you're beautiful Ron.
But don't let that all go to your head.
I love your mind and at the same time .. as you stated in your blog :

My words don't echo in people's minds because the instant somebody does care, it floats out of them later in the day when they realize that the problems that plague me plague them ten times worse.

I'm afraid of feeling your pain... your hatred.
I am learning to love myself for me. Love has an enemy and that is hatred. I can only try to sympathize so much. To hate humanity the way you say you do makes me sick. I could never. The idea of being alone isn't peaceful to me at all; no, not when so many wonderful people, places and opportunities exist. I do not think that it is our purpose to understand one another but to recognize them and maybe, see a small piece of yourself in them as that continue on their journey of self actualization. After all we are all connected.
______
2. School
& So, Just like tonight in the car you told me your current status in school I had nothing to say.
I still don't. You don't need to hear anything I would have to say..it's already inside of you. Besides, Anything I would want to say would without a doubt seem just a bit hypocritical. I finished school. I enjoyed most of my classes just for the heck of it. I guess I didn't know better. The stuff that everyone seems to be preaching to you (in my own opinion) is gold. Accept that that's how some people may perceive things and move on I guess. You have so much support from agencies and the chance to get in to college and simple to don't want it. Not admirable but I accept it. Just know that for every action there is a reaction. I am not implying that feelings of regret will ever occur I'm just telling you that I do care about you not the school system and can only hope for the obvious best in the near future.
______
3. Love.
[Moving on ..... Lol]
______
4. Conclusion: Peace

Jason Mraz. IDK if you know how much I love this guy, probably not as much as
You x Nicco x Kurt lol but he really is great. .... Just saying.

Um, this world is mad and [we people a re] done for. Life is depressing. That's old news. It bothers me that people are never done with that thought... Or should I say fact. It's understandable want to distance yourself with people who do so little with them selves because that's simply not you or whatever. However, just as your punk rock role in this world stands; the " i don't give a shit" attitude emerges from your flesh. You are in fact [American] human with the mind and make up of pretty much everyone else.

"You are not special. You are not a
beautiful or unique snowflake. You are
the same decaying organic matter as
everything else."
~Tyler~

______

&& I love you and I' m lucky to have found you as randomly as I did. I hope that peace will one day enter your soul and calm the loneliness and uncomfortableness you feel. I believe the answers already stored within you; soon you will break free and realize you're awakening.
***

P.S.: W.T.F... its 2:00a.m
PS #2. Please stop smoking [cigs] that's .... just no.

The best e-mail I've ever recieved.

Ok So, I know I have so much more to talk about and trust me I'll get to that later, but today while checking/ cleaning out my hundreds of emails and chain letters I actually stopped and checked out Anna's most recent one. You know Anna... Dylans little sister.

Hey Shayla,
Do you remember me? LOL!! Why don't you come over anymore and I've been e-mailing you. What's taking you soooooooo long???????

-Anna
PS:Do you talk to Dylan anymore or are you gies not friends anymore? If your not friends anymore then why? but you don't really have to tell me I'd just like to know..........
wait do you even like me anymore? If you don't like me just because you don't like Dylan that would be totally lame...no affence
Do you just not like me or what!!!!!!!??????????
Bye

WTF. I almost wanted to cry she's so cute and I can't believe she still thinks of me. and her brother!!!! *bp... her brother has prevented me from seeing her. What a bummer. Anyway, I made sure my reply was just as happy as I am right now.